When Mother Doesn't Know Best

Taking big risks can feel alienating. Sharing your lofty dreams with your family, friends, and partner can be terrifying, and when met with lots of questions about how you’ll really pull it off, it can be paralyzing.

You may slip into a self-doubt spiral, thinking, “They’re right, there are too many barriers facing me on this path. Maybe I should just stay where I am, keep chugging along, get a paycheck, and feel less than fulfilled. I can always do that later, at some point in my life when I feel more prepared.”

This feeling is the one that keeps us stuck. When we allow other people to judge our goals and the direction of our ambition, we’re putting our self-worth in their hands.  It’s so easy to do this – to ask others for their opinions, suggestions, recommendations, etc. We’ve grown up thinking our loved ones always have our best interest at heart. But in the big scheme of things, could this be doing us more harm than good?

Being in your power means being consciously confident about your dreams, which does NOT include absorbing other people’s judgments as fact, truth, or your own beliefs. The beauty of this is that you get to decide what you’re capable of, trust that the universe will provide support, and be committed to doing whatever it takes to bring your dream to life.

I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t share your vision with others, because you absolutely should! In fact, if you do, it increases your likelihood of actually making it happen because you have more people holding you accountable. There are just a few things you might want to be mentally equipped with before you do so.

It’s so important to remember that everyone is on their own path, and everyone is at a different stage. We all have different lenses that we operate from, based on our past experiences and what we believe to be possible about the future. Most people allow those past experiences to seep into the present and future “realities” they create for themselves to live in.  Fewer people allow their present and future to be relatively untouched by their past, allowing them to create any kind of reality they desire to dream up.

Understand that others’ projections of doubt on to you have absolutely nothing to do with you.  Their own insecurities, weaknesses, doubts, and excuses are simply being reflected back to them in your strength. Perhaps they’ve made a failed attempt to answer their own calling in the past, and gave up at the first sign of frustration (most people do, so this is very feasible).  This means that they believe you’re going to fail too, because they’re operating from their own lens, which only holds and perpetuates their own experiences. You and I both know that we all share the same capacity for greatness, but only some people have the strength to fully utilize that potential – and you’re one of them.

Just understand this, and remember it. This concept will allow you to be indestructible, as every spec of doubt tossed your way will bounce right off of you. The good thing is that when you prove them wrong and become wildly successful at whatever it is that you’re pursuing in the world, it becomes an opportunity for them to become inspired, try again, and hopefully pursue their true calling! Some people will be jealous, and that’s really just a manifestation and reflection of their own self-doubt – they don’t believe they can do something of the caliber that you’ve just proven you can, so what makes you so special?

Another thing you can do to avoid parental-advisory paralysis is to gently let your loved ones know what you’re up to, that it’s a done deal in your mind’s eye, and that you would solely like support and encouragement on your path. You don’t have to give in to all of their questions by giving away all your secrets! Just tell them to wait and see how you will make it happen, and then do it! ;)

I would absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE if you would comment below and tell me how you’ve dealt with this in the past, or how you plan to deal with it in the future!

As always, if there’s any way that I can support you in following your dreams, please let me know in a private e-mail to ecassel.lifecoach@gmail.com and I’d be happy to share any tools and suggestions I have with you!

And if you're looking for more 1:1 action, I'm currently looking to fill 3 spots in my schedule next week for totally FREE 1-hour coaching sessions! If you're interested, you can sign up HERE

Love & Light,

Emily