How To Know What You REALLY Want

It sounds so obvious, but I’ve really fully understood the value and power of stepping away from your environment during my trip to California this past week. It was as if I got a really clear outsider’s perspective, without judgment, of my own life. 

Now that I’m home, I feel like I’m falling in love with everything all over again — my man, my dog, my home, my city, my career.  The crazy thing is that before this trip, I didn’t realize how in love with my life I was in the first place!  I was getting so caught up in the minutia that I wasn’t able to see how amazing everything was going as clearly as I now can. 

There was a pivotal moment of big clarity that happened for me while sitting on the beach, looking out into the gorgeous ocean waves, the sun glistening on the water and on my skin. 

I was thinking to myself, “This is  exactly what I came here for! This is what I envisioned! It should feel amazing!” But, I couldn’t shake the idea that all of this means nothing without the people I love sharing it with me. It would never be worth it to me to move somewhere beautiful and leave the most amazing man I’ve ever met behind for the beauty of the place. 

This moment really hit me, square in the face, and I decided to come home early. What I was searching for had been found. And the lesson was that I hadn’t gotten clear about how I wanted to FEEL when I reached this goal. It certainly wasn’t “alone & disconnected.”

There are so many ways that I can feel the way I want to feel when I’m home and in my current environment. But first, I needed to step away to realize this and have the experience to know what an empty achievement felt like. 

A few months ago, I had been determined and totally set on leaving, moving away from Pittsburgh to somewhere warm and beautiful, regardless of what my partner desired to do. I was ready to give it all up - my friendships, connections, and relationship - some of the things I value MOST in my life - just to move somewhere new because of how I thought it could feel when I got there. 

It was almost a “Prince Charming” complex, where I imagined that moving would give me something I didn’t already have within myself. Some sort of power that I was seeking that wasn’t easy to pull out of myself. Changes that were hard to make within my current circumstances, but could be “easy” in a new environment. It was a very romantic vision. 

I felt like Dorothy at the end of the Wizard of Oz, where she wakes up from her dream back in Kansas. The clarity and gratitude and new perspective — GOLDEN. 

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.” — Dorothy 

I’m not saying that I never will move or travel, or that it’s not healthy to move for other people - that’s not what I’m saying at all! We’re all on our own journeys here, and I fully intend to travel in the future — a lot — and am totally open to the idea of moving.

What I am saying is that what I personally needed to learn here was that I can always travel, but I discovered that was was important to me was to have somewhere that feels like true HOME — a place that I love, with people that I love, where I feel grounded and supported. A huge revelation was that this is the first time in my life I’ve really felt like somewhere was truly HOME. And I think that speaks really loudly and clearly about what my relationship with my man feels like for me, and that’s exactly what I’ve always wanted. I just hadn’t realized it yet. 

My overarching intention for the trip was to really have a breakthrough into clarity and to learn as many lessons as possible, specifically about my place in the world and whether or not I wanted to move. Being out of my typical environment allowed me to remind myself of what I would do if I had no limits or boundaries, real or imagined. It reminded me of what I truly, madly, deeply desire & value in my life. 

With this clarity, I’m now able to get super clear on what I actually desire to FEEL, and it’s very simple to take actions in support of those feelings. 

So — what do I desire to feel? 

Freedom. Feminine. LOVE. Grounded. Aligned. 

So, now I’d love to hear from you, in the comments section below.

How do you want to truly FEEL in your life + what could you do to bring in more of that feeling into your life?

How can you generate more of the feelings you desire, exactly where and how you are right now? 

I want to invite you to make a decision - a commitment - to the way you deeply desire to feel, because that’s really the only thing that matters. If you want to continue setting empty goals, go for it. But let me just tell you that this is a game-changer, and it’s much a more freeing & flexible way to set and achieve goals in your life, which are typically rigid & painful. 

In fact, I’m so in support of this concept, (find out more about it in Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map) that I will soon be partnering with a dear (and brilliant!) friend of mine, Alyssa Kuzins, to bring live workshops and retreats to the Pittsburgh area. These soul-centered events will include a blend of The Desire Map teachings, a Hippies In Heels sister circle, & empowering yoga classes where we combine the arts of coaching and yoga to create movement in your body and movement in your whole life (yoga on and off the mat!).  

“This Desire Map Licensing feels like EXACTLY the right path for me. Ever since I was little I can remember sharing motivational quotes with my family, writing them on a dry erase board on our fridge; I was trying to lift others up, and I haven’t changed much since then. I still want to lift others up. I want to raise women up to live their dreams, and I believe The Desire Map will help me do just that!” - Alyssa Kuzins

Alyssa will be the pioneer licensee of The Desire Map in the Pittsburgh area, and has a vision to travel with this work domestically and internationally, spreading the teachings of The Desire Map program.

She is currently seeking funding for her licensing program through a gofundme campaign! You can donate to her licensing by clicking here. Every little bit helps, and together, we can make this a reality for her, so we too can bask in the beauty of the teachings once she is licensed! 

Have a fantastic week! I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments below!

Love & Light, 

Emily